Thursday, July 23, 2009

A Need to Post. A Need to Vent.

It's been a while since I last posted anything of substantial, but today I am to change that. Recent events at work has me somewhat perturbed and wanting to scream my brains out, but I honestly am too busy (and lazy) to do something that require that much calories.

What's gotten me riled up at the moment is how some people can sometimes act like they have no idea what they did wrong when in fact they know that they are guilty. I recently had a client who decided to delete pages off their web server and then had the audacity to come back to me to say that my custom-built content management system was bad or that I'm not keeping up with their site.

What these people didn't realize is that every time they log into the server and the CMS, all their actions are being logged. There's enough prompts before doing anything that asks whether you're sure or not to make a sane person cry. To honest, accidentally deleting something is somewhat highly improbable. The system is idiot proof and unless you're reached a threshold beyond idiot (perhaps some level between comatose and retardation), then I'm sorry but you're not responsible enough to own a web site. I'll have to become the Web Nazi and say "No Web Site for You!!!"

So, before you go and tell off your web guy, web gal, or web monkey and yell at them for their web site sucking, I need you to calm down and ask yourself the following questions:
  1. Was it something I did to make the web site break?
  2. Did I irresponsibly give the password to my web site to any of the following:
    • someone who hates me
    • my bastard children
    • my ex-spouse
    • a wandering hobo on the street
    • the prostitute I hired the other night
    • the cute waitress at the bar
  3. Am I mentally challenged or have some kind of mental defect that doesn't allow me to understand the word "delete"?

  4. Can I speak and understand American English?

  5. Am I currently inebriated/drunk?

  6. Am I high on illegal narcotics?

  7. Have you recently seen Jesus/the Virgin Mary/Michael Jackson in your cereal or morning pastry products?

  8. Do I tell everyone that I know how make web sites because I was able to save a document in HTML in MS Word?

  9. Do I tell people that I can program web pages because I have a MySpace, Facebook, or Twitter page?

  10. Do I pretend to know how to make web sites to impress the opposite sex and hope that no one calls my bluff ?

  11. Am I too irresponsible or immature to own a web site?

If you answered, yes to any of these question, you should not have a web site and your so-called web guy probably thinks you're an infantile moron who deserves to eaten alive by velociraptors.


  1. "Have you recently seen Jesus/the Virgin Mary/Michael Jackson in your cereal or morning pastry products?"

    Haha. That was the best one. I'm going to ask that to a few people myself. Hehe.

  2. Does #10 really work? No one of the opposite sex ever seems impressed with my being a web slave, er, I mean master.