Sunday, November 25, 2007

ByteMonkey's Blog Begins

You've stumbled upon the personal online chronicle of one of the great unknown web developers named ByteMonkey. This site is a collection of postings consisting of random personal thoughts, midnight confessions, geeky opinions, primal ravings, and pointless grievances on any topic under the sun.

Basically, it's a freaking blog. Deal with it! Don't know what that is? Well go Wiki yourself!!!

About the Posts
The postings on this site are primarily processed through Blogger and through Utterli when the posts are being sent via mobile phone. You can view ByteMonkey's photoblog at Tumblr or you can virtually stalk ByteMonkey via Twitter.

About the Monkey
Living and working in the sunny town of Pensacola, Florida, ByteMonkey enjoys hanging out at the white sand beaches, local bars, bookstores, restaurants, and movie theaters. Because he makes his living managing the web sites of a non-profit organization, he obviously does not get paid very well. As a result, ByteMonkey can usually be found loitering at the parking lots of various fine and fancy establishments where he pretends to be an actual patron until the police arrive and run him off.

For over twelve years, ByteMonkey has been working on the World Wide Web in one form or another. He remembers a time when blogs didn't exist and people referred to such sites as their "personal homepages."

ByteMonkey lives the "computer geek life." He owns too many personal computers and laptops for one person to ever realistically use. He networks them together only because he can and not for any discernible, sane reason. Being a computer geek, he has no real social life, but is supposedly popular online although no one can really prove it. Countless scientists and philosophers that have observed the Monkey have often speculated that perhaps it is his lack of a social life that causes his random moodiness and sometimes eccentric demeanor.

ByteMonkey is addicted to rice and rice products. Although not Japanese, he is a Japanophile which makes him prone to worshiping giant transforming robots, micronized technology, and overly developed, giant eyed Animé girls who have large pairs of guns.

When he is not writing code, selling diet soda, or eating ramen noodles in his work office, ByteMonkey moonlights as a sword-wielding ninja who fights crime when the ambient temperature is between 70 to 72 degrees Fahrenheit. His chubby panda-like physique and ungracious movements, (a combination now known as Budhaesque™), make him ineffective during any other environmental temperatures.

When he was seven years old, an Igorot shaman taught him the mystical art of controlling the weather. This act has essentially made him into a low-level weather god. Know that whenever it rains on you, it probably means that ByteMonkey is mad at you. Offerings and sacrifices have been known to keep this surly demi-god pacified and at bay.

Note from ByteMonkey:
This is the last time I use a PR company to outsource my blog introductions. From now own, I'm writing everything.

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